Words, wanting to be heard!

It’s been a while since I wrote to you. Last time I remember writing to you was when I was lost, searching for words through which I could speak to you. I wanted you to hear me out when everyone around turned a deaf ear. I complained to you of how cruel the world around was and how people kept changing like seasons. The world around felt like a place I never belonged to and all I wanted to do was to disappear somehow. I was too scared of being lost that I decided to stop walking. I was too scared of failures that I decided to stop trying. I was too scared of being hurt that I stopped loving. I was too scared of life that I had stopped living it. Every day I had so many reasons to smile, so many things to cherish but I wasted it all crying over things I couldn’t be and thinking about the things that could never be mine. I felt like a completely directionless wanderer who couldn’t figure out where he was and where was he set to reach. But today when I write to you, I want...

There are nights when I stay up all night staring at the dark walls wondering about how life messes us up at times. Everything seems to drift away some day or the other. Every thought that seemed to be real turned out to be just an illusion. I calmly appreciate the silence of the dark hours, probably the only time when I can avoid all the hustles and bustles of life. I remember the days when the smile on my face was genuine unlike the one I wear now. I think of the days when I was absolutely happy to be around certain people who enjoyed my company too. Life was easy then, maybe. Heartbreaks probably meant losing our favorite pen or pencil while we wanted to flaunt about it to our friends. Sadness was when mom cooks the vegetable we hate the most calling it healthy and forces us to eat it. Fights meant fighting with our siblings for a bigger piece of cake even when every piece was of the same size. Happiness was when dad gifted us our favorite toy on our birthday. Everything felt ...

As I walk through the lanes, I look at the eyes of people staring at me and judging me. I walk a little faster because I start feeling a little insecure about myself. The head that was held high now slowly starts looking down as I gasp for breath, owing to the speed I was walking with. I try not to look back as I find it difficult to face the reactions they give after judging me. I start getting even more insecure and a cloud of self-doubt starts making my thoughts gloomy. I start questioning if I were perfect.. I start judging my own self. I start comparing my personality with others. I start hating myself. I start hating everything about me. At it gets darker, tears roll down my eyes as I realise that I am totally imperfect, I begin to question my existence, I feel terrible about myself. I compare my live with the lives of other. Through my eyes, the life of the other person seems so perfect unlike my life.  I start realising that I have few people around me and...

Dear diary,  Today I am writing to you because I need an honest listener.. I need someone who wouldn't judge me. I want someone who listens to my heart and doesn't give me conclusive statements or advise me. All I need is someone I can trust all my secrets with. Every time I experience something new, I realize how beautiful life is and how blessed I am to have had such a life with everything I need. But, wait. No, there are things that hurt me too but Shh I am not supposed to tell that out. I am a strong person and I am not supposed to show how weak I am to this world. I am not supposed to express how I feel after I attain the age of maturity. I have to live my life without any complaints. I need to wake up as if nothing went wrong previously. I need to forget the past. I need not worry about the future. I should just live for today.  But friend is that possible? We mess up things.. We often end up doing things in a wrong way. We often land ourselves in the path w...

                   Life sometimes doesn’t play a fair game with us. It takes away those things that mean the most to us. Walking hand in hand, I dreamt of a “FOREVER” with you. Things seemed to be easy with you be my side. I always wanted to run to you to share every good and bad that happened in my life every day. I knew no one would ever replace you in my life. Everything seemed to be perfect when we were together. I always had a shoulder to lean on when I felt weak. You were the one who put a smile on my face every time our eyes met. I wanted to “freeze time”. I wanted things to remain the same forever. I wished to be yours “Forever”.                              But just then, life made me realize the fact “SOME THINGS AREN’T MEANT TO BE FOREVER BECAUSE CHANGE IS ESSENTIAL.” That was when the reality struck ...

"Dear You,     Why are you letting your past eat you up? Why are you bothered by others who keep judging you? Why do you search for happiness in others? Why are you not letting out the tears from your eyes? Life is sometimes harsh! You don't get all what you need. Some rains last longer than expected and drench you totally. Some flowers wither away while you are still watering the plants.. You feel stranded at some point. You want to give up on everything. You feel like running away from everything and start doing things all over again. You lose out your most valuable things-be it people or materialistic wealth. You begin doubting yourself for not being capable of doing anything right. Self doubt consumes you. You mess up things and begin losing confidence in yourself. You want things to go a certain way but things turn out to be the other way round. You want to shout out loud. You want to cry it out. But you search for someone to rest your shoulder on and cry hard. You want ...