IT ISN'T EASY

There are nights when I stay up all night staring at the dark walls wondering about how life messes us up at times. Everything seems to drift away some day or the other. Every thought that seemed to be real turned out to be just an illusion. I calmly appreciate the silence of the dark hours, probably the only time when I can avoid all the hustles and bustles of life.

I remember the days when the smile on my face was genuine unlike the one I wear now. I think of the days when I was absolutely happy to be around certain people who enjoyed my company too. Life was easy then, maybe. Heartbreaks probably meant losing our favorite pen or pencil while we wanted to flaunt about it to our friends. Sadness was when mom cooks the vegetable we hate the most calling it healthy and forces us to eat it. Fights meant fighting with our siblings for a bigger piece of cake even when every piece was of the same size. Happiness was when dad gifted us our favorite toy on our birthday. Everything felt so good at that point of our lives.

Then “WE GREW UP”. That is when life happened. That is when every delusion broke into pieces. Reality seems to be way far different than what we imagined it to be.

People who promised to stay with us through every passing storm, flew away just with gentle breeze, excuses seem to be the new trend, the genuine smile is now replaced with a ‘FORMALITY SMILE’ which hurts sometimes. Silence seems to be better than being crowded with many people yet no one to call ‘MY PEOPLE’. When ego starts growing larger, heart shrinks making no space for people who were once everything you wanted. Thinking narrows down. We start thinking about things from only one prospective. We can go to any extent to prove ourselves right even when we aren’t right, because we don’t want to use the word ‘SORRY’ to save relationships.

 With time I have realized that sometimes it is okay to let out the tears. It is okay to break down at times. You can’t always expect people to remain the same. With time you just begin to realize what things are and that is absolutely normal. It is okay to be the one who is easy taken for granted; it is okay if people replace you soon. All you should know is that YOU NEED TO BE TRUE TO YOURSELF. If people value you they won’t leave you.

Letting go isn't easy, but probably the best decision ever

If you have the courage to achieve what you wish to, even the cliffs of the mountains would act as a support to take you where you wish to. You feel lost at times and that is okay. It is a part of growing up. I have lost people who meant everything to me, yet today I am not guilty of anything because I have been me and true to myself and that is what matters to me.

Falling weak at times doesn’t mean that I am weak, it is just that I need to let out what I have been holding on.  Everything need not make sense at the very beginning of it. Time is too short to hold grudges on people. Learn to walk away from that what is breaking you down, it may hurt for a while but letting it go will be the best decision you would ever take.

It isn’t easy. Letting people go, seeing people change, dreams crashing in front of your eyes, being replaced by others will tear you apart. It won’t let you sleep, it will keep haunting you. You want to become invisible, you wish to start over everything again, but my friend this is a part of growing up. You see the leaves on the tree fall off from the tree after a certain period of time, after that does the tree die? NO! The tree is making itself ready to bring in new fresh leaves better and greener than the once it shed. It will be painful to see that the leaves which once were a part of it is now separated from it and fallen off. But if the leaf stays there, it wouldn’t be valued. It wouldn’t make sense.

Similar to this is our life. When you see things fall apart, it is hard to let it go. But remember, new things come only when you make space for it by clearing the things that aren’t worth stressing over. Nothing is easy at first. Life will break you, you want to cry out loud but not want to be heard by anyone. But, a day will come when all of this will make sense. Learn to make peace with yourself. Start loving yourself more than anyone else. Do what makes you happy. Be you, because only a few real people are left. Be real and you are ought to get the best of everything you deserve.